For the past — I don’t even know how many years — I’ve been in charge of creating year in review DVDs for my family. I have my family send me pictures from their year along with a song choice and then I edit it all together. I’ve gotten pretty good.
With 2016 in full swing (and my birthday having just passed) I feel like I need to review what I wanted to accomplish in 2015 and see how well I did. We’ll start with the bottom and work our way to the top.
I said I wanted to love. Whether that’s non-romantic or romantic. What I didn’t express was that loving makes you vulnerable. I don’t like being vulnerable. In fact, I prefer not to be because I usually wind up hurt.
I think this quotation sums it all up:
“We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
But in the spirit of resolutions, I tried it. I opened the door a little way. And then something magical happened. I met a couple of guys.
I was watching Cinderella again and I loved the part when Ella is coming down the stairs to meet the prince at the end of the story. She stops and looks at the mirror and the voiceover talks about how terrifying it is to show yourself to another. But she does it and the Prince accepts her and they get their happily ever after.
I may not have gotten a happily ever after (or even beyond a moment), but I’m grateful that I opened my heart just a little.
I have to admit, my creating has been a little lackluster. I tried to do NaNoWriMo again and unfortunately, I got distracted. I think getting experience is an important part to creating. Though I had tried to do something bigger this year, I’m just grateful that I tried it out.
My exploration was limited to home base. Instead of exploring the world beyond, I explored a new possibility for myself — a new job at a new company. That has been an adventure that has brought me tears, confusion and a list of other emotions. I love what I get to do. I love that I’m stretching beyond where I was before.
So maybe I didn’t end the year with every desire of my heart, but I sure did grow! And maybe I don’t want to go back to 2015 ever, but I’m glad I survived it.
Now, onto 2016!